I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
