is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
