The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Non-Jews are for practice
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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