spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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