So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
