How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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