Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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