I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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