I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
