I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize