My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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