I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
