My first STD was from a foam party
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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