Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
