woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and you said cock pushups were impossible
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
