Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
