I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
