Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
