Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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