She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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