dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
