That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
