Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
