I just pynch a tree in the face
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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