How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
