Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
