I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
