I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
