I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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