I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
