I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
