It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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