I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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