You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
