what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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