we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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