Are we in a gay sports bar?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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