My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
did i walk over a car last night?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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