i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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