i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
