i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
