I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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