was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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