you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
