dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
