I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
