white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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