About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
