there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
ttyl tear gas
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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