My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
