I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
