anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
