My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
