I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its about making memories worth repressing
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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