if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She even gives head with a lisp.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
