Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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