I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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