So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
is it fun? or sober?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
