if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
