And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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