proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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