Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
