I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
