Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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