she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
