I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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