I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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